An Extroverted Introvert’s Guide to University
To many, starting a new chapter of their lives at university means making new friends, rushing for sororities, going to parties, and making life-changing discoveries about who you are. I know: how exciting and uplifting. However, if you’re somewhat of an extroverted introvert like me, it can be absolutely exhausting keeping up the expectations of the stereotypical university experience.
What is an Extroverted Introvert?
To better understand where I’m coming from, let me explain: Extroverts tend to be outgoing, energetic and overall a people-person; Introverts, on the other hand, enjoy solitude and tend to be shyer and reserved around new people.
Being an extroverted introvert means I don’t belong on either end of that spectrum. Don’t get me wrong—I love kicking back with some close friends and having a good time, but I need to recharge my social battery and not push myself over my limits.
My Fear of Missing Out (“FOMO”)
At university, you will often feel like you’re not doing enough. It was the case for me, I began worrying about being left out and tailing behind everyone else.
When I mindlessly scroll through my phone at night, all I see are the Instagram and Snapchat posts of dimmed house parties and packed clubs, which can really make you develop a severe case of FOMO. Even though you know that you wouldn’t enjoy coming home at 4 am with a significantly emptier wallet and complicated by a hangover the next day.
I’ve been there (and done that) and I’m telling you that you don’t have to worry about missing out. The university experience is more than going out and partying, and there are other ways you can make the best out of this time.
Tip 1: Branch Out of Your Comfort Zone
Falling into the same familiar routine can feel so comforting and safe but at the same time, it discourages you to get out there and test the waters.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy having fun and getting out of our comfort zones every now and then. Sure, exploring new things and meeting new people can be terrifying at first, but we do push ourselves to have fun from time to time. If we don’t, we will never know what it’s really like.
Tip 2: Get A Job
I am a firm believer that getting a job in a social setting helps you elevate your social skills and get out of your self-contained bubble. You have the opportunities to meet new people from different backgrounds and make friends without the pressure experienced at social gatherings. At work, you don’t need to worry about going up to random people and find commonalities with the hope of starting a friendship. You’re already part of a team together, which lays the foundation for an extended relationship. Besides, if you happen to be in a new city, it can help you connect with locals and further explore the city and its culture.
Personally, getting a job in retail during my freshman year helped me overcome my shyness. Initially, I found troubles initiating small talk and being at the forefront of a conversation, but after a few sluggish attempts of fulfilling my sales advisor duties, I managed to get the hang of it.
Starting out was not easy for me: I had to face customers literally throwing piles of rumpled clothes into my arms after they had tried it on for hours, stalling the changing room line. In the first few days, I would take on the piles without a word, and wasting my own time and energy putting them neatly on the hangers. Later on, I learned to use my voice and vocalize these inconveniences and not let customers walk over me.
As the weeks went by, I grew more confident in every aspect of my life and everyone told me they saw a change in me, and that I had grown out of my shell.
Tip 3: Know Your Limits
As you navigate your way into social circles at university, remember not to take it too far. Understand who you are and if you are comfortable with what is going on. Don’t overextend yourself in hopes of being someone you are not, extendedly neglecting your personal well-being.
Don’t be afraid to take a break and step back. Try finding activities to clear your head with and start taking up those hobbies that you may have been neglecting. It could be a long run, reading a book or even catching up on your favorite show on Netflix in your bed, elbow deep in a bag of potato chips. Don’t neglect the power of being alone. It’s what kept me going.
You know yourself better than anyone else. The beginning of university life can be hard, but it doesn’t matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or both, there’s a place for everyone. Whatever you end up doing, do it for yourself and because you love it: that’s what really matters in the end.
